The Official
Laurier Purity Test
Have you ever...
Better than the Western and Waterloo ones. Happy st. paddy's
Caution: This is not a bucket list. Completion of all items on this test will likely result in death.
1.
Bought posters from a Laurier poster sale event
2.
Been to a Laurier Greek Life party (Kappa Alpha, Sigma Chi)
3.
Had an exam on a Saturday/Sunday
4.
Ate Campus Pizza because it was the only thing open late
5.
Have a photo with a Special Constable
6.
Ran from a Special Constable
7.
Watched Dave Swanston's Amazing Race video
8.
Took a LinkedIn headshot in front of the Laz lights
9.
Played on a Golden Hawks varsity team
10.
Eaten Harveys more than 3 times in a week because the food court is bare af
11.
Stayed in during Halloween because of midterms
12.
Went to a club event just for the free food
13.
Joined a study group that never studied
14.
Got caught napping in a lecture by the prof
15.
Bought overpriced snacks from the campus vending machine
16.
Tried to print your cheat sheet the day of the exam
17.
The printers were blocked for the day
18.
Forgot your lines in a class presentation
19.
Been featured in a Laurier social media post or interview
20.
Took a bus from the Brantford campus to Waterloo campus
21.
Took a shower in residence without wearing flip-flops
22.
Got lost trying to find a classroom in the Arts building
23.
Waited over 30 minutes for a bus at the University Ave stop
24.
Joined a club but never attended a meeting
25.
Still put that club on your resume
26.
Got a lineup in Laurier bathroom
27.
Fell 6+ weeks behind class
28.
Forgot your Laurier login password mid-term
29.
Submitted an assignment 1 minute before the deadline
30.
Got paired with useless groupmates in lab
31.
Skipped a mandatory lab by sleeping through it
32.
Skipped a mandatory lab while awake
33.
Bought a textbook you never opened
34.
Waited in line at Starbucks longer than your actual class
35.
Signed up for a 8:30 AM class
36.
Skipped that 8:30 AM class
37.
Did a prank on a weekday
38.
Left a weird voicemail on a campus phone line
39.
Snuck into a closed lecture hall
40.
Taped a “push” sign on a pull-only door
41.
Left a fake “exam canceled” note on a classroom door
42.
Wrote a fake club ad on a bathroom wall
43.
Wrote a fake review of a prof online
44.
Copied a friend during a tutorial you didnt study for
45.
Got caught for plagiarism
46.
Did it again
47.
Got caught again
48.
Pulled an all-nighter but still didn’t finish the assignment
49.
Showed up drunk (or still tipsy) to a morning lecture
50.
Lied about a 'family emergency' to get an extension
51.
Forgot to withdraw from a class and took the F
52.
Waited until 11:59 PM to submit an assignment that was due at 11:59 PM
53.
Used ChatGPT or an AI to write an entire assignment
54.
Started studying for a midterm the night before
55.
Went to a party knowing you had an exam the next day
56.
Skipped class for months, then panicked before finals
57.
Submitted the wrong file for an assignment and realized too late
58.
Spent more time picking a Netflix show than writing your paper
59.
Signed up for a group project and didn’t do any work
60.
Didn’t read the syllabus until halfway through the semester
61.
Didn’t read the syllabus at all
62.
Plagiarized and prayed Turnitin wouldn’t catch it
63.
Pulled a fire alarm in res because you burned food in the microwave
64.
Slept through a midterm
65.
Left laundry in the machine for so long someone stole it
66.
Asked for notes from a classmate even though you never spoke before
67.
Told your parents you’re 'doing fine' when you were actually failing
68.
Used up all your meal plan money too early in the semester
69.
Wrote a paper in one night worth >20% of your grade
70.
Had a participation grade and tanked it
71.
Submitted the wrong type of file to an assignment
72.
Hid in the back of a lecture to play games
73.
Left a cryptic note in a library book
74.
Ate food from a club event you weren’t part of
75.
Fell asleep during a guest speaker event
76.
Got a parking ticket on University Ave
77.
Bought a parking pass but still couldn’t find a spot
78.
Took Drake Studies
79.
Took Pirate Studies
80.
Won a case competition
81.
Lost your OneCard
82.
Pulled an all-nighter
83.
Took a bird course that was NOT a bird course
84.
Scored above 80 without going to class
85.
Scored below 30 without going to class
86.
Attended 3 or fewer lectures for a course during the entire term
87.
Attended a street party during Hoco
88.
Attended a street party during St. Paddy’s Day
89.
Been to a frat party
90.
Had to leave a party early because the cops shut it down
91.
Failed an exam
92.
Failed a course
93.
Failed two courses
94.
Failed three courses
95.
Had to change majors because you got cooked/failed BU progression
96.
Skipped a class because you were hungover
97.
Pulled a residence fire alarm
98.
Been drunk 3 or more nights in a row
99.
Had intercourse in the concourse
100.
Fucked a goose
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